17 October 2007

I am angry!

I was hopping to some Calgary blogger to have some good read, I come across “Writing is a form of therapy" that The angry nurse posted in his blog, I like that description..

I had a bad day, sleepless night, something really bother for a while (my previous work), I managed to withdraw from it, but I am pull back in. You see , in my culture, and my oldest sister's use to teaches me, "words cannot hurt me, but stick can" mean to bear; to endure; what come around goes around, be humbler, be generous, harmless, live in peace, but now I realized in some situation, I can't think like that, I want to write about my mean calloused ex-boss that I can't keep silent anymore. 忍无可忍!

Yes, I am piss off! My ex-boss is a mean lady, I left the company (total of 3 employees work place) months ago, she kept talking behind my back, sharing our confidential conversations with other co-worker just to prove her point of view, because I've gave her feedback about the management always make a rash decision that it affected me, at least I told her generously and be upfront, and we talked it out, she acted very professionally taking the feedback positively and I thought this is the end of it! I've share my thought and now I move on!

What I've discovered in this crucial world is, when you have value, you are the favorite, many request easily granted, no questions ask, but when your knowledge or attendance not to a maximum benefits to a person, services or organization, you are DONE! Million of excuses will be available to turn down your requests, or maybe make you feel foolish if you still show up. That's what happen to me, I decides to get out. 吃一個虧 !學一個乖 !

I was warned not to share skills and knowledge too much, this is keeping a job security strategy, but I never believe in it, and stupid me sharing all my knowledges, skills to other worker and my duty was eliminated, not my co-worker fault, is her stripe out my work hour, take away the work from my desk. Since her mind have set, no way I beg her or pretend it doesn't bother me. I kept quiet and observe, keep on convince myself not to push the limit, burn the bridge. Time to get out and move on, I'm confidence that I still have my values, my priority, maybe God have different plans for me and I believe it's a bless to be able to spend good quality time with family, especially my precious son, work is just one way to make living.

However, after I was gone, she is pinching me little by little and putting all the blame on me to my ex-co-workers, I thankful for friends who defense for me and share what goes on my back, I am happy they stand by me, but this doesn't make me feel better now, I am piss because the Ex-boss think she have the right in the world to manipulates the whole situation and thinking there is nothing I can do or know about it!

During my services there, when we have meeting about work issues, she never focus the topic, she avoid the problems, she push the problems to other co-worker like she always do, she complained how she is unhappy about so and so performance, partly the problem were my problem, she expect me to deal with the person, because she have no gut to confront the worker, she said to me she don't want to hurt and be mean to him or her. Hello!!! My job title is a desktop publisher not Supervisor! why put me in this position?
The other interesting part and laugh my head off that she called me home at 10 o'clock at night, complaining so and so performance is not up to her expectation, wanting me not to social with him!?? asking me to say somethings to him so he work hard?? What the heck? What kind of Employee Relations she demonstrated, only 3 staffs and she can't manage??! I refuse to get involve and will not fall in her crab.

Let me tell you how is my work environment, we have no 15 minutes short break, continue work even when we are having our lunch, very often she dislike us talking because she said the work load have dead line, less talk more work. We pay by hourly, when no work, you go home, when there's more work, stay back and finished, We take it, no problem, I can take it, and now she blaming me for being too talkative with him and phone me at night telling me to avoid my co-worker at work, do not interrupt him, she said her target is him not me, but she need me to co-operate with her, also it's not fair that she just telling him not to talk at work, that's is why she have to tell me not to talk as well, but she stress that this is not about me, she only target him! Ha?? What kind of idiot mind set is this? Blaaaaaaady ! I can't believe I work there for 2 and half years,??!!

She complained it was the co-worker who created the tension between all staffs (4 staffs including her) on my last day (as usual), I stop her telling me about others, I am more interest about my request before I leave. This is how she practice her Employment Relations management, she try to change my focus and if I shift, she don't need to deal with it?

Before I leave, I got upsad that she gave me tons of excuses for turning down our verbal agreements, I later found out from government employment officer that it was not as complicated as they thought. I proof to her and gave the feedback that her decision was over reacted, but I said it's pass, I just want her to know the fact and truth (perhaps it's for me to reveal her cunning management), but I said I will not going to appear the matter, I take it and leave it there.

Now I've left, she went on and talk about me to other employees, which the employee's find it unappropriated, they stop the conversation and not willing to listen anymore. I know it all, I was patient, I bear, I don't work there now and be strong, she is trying to hurt me, doesn't mean she will!

Yesterday, she making same excuses and blame on me again !! she told my ex- co-worker (who quit this week) she cannot promises his requests because I put her in a bad situation, She spended whole hour complained about me and not get her conversation straight, my co-worker lead her back to his request and stress out this is all about him, he has no interest to listen how she back stab me, the whole conversation is always out of focus, what the heck! Why she do that? Where is her work ethic?? she told the worker she is upset I told the officers about what happenings, she upset I challenged her decision! What the heck! she is so unsecured about her management? Putting people down will make her stand tall? How come she never face to face talk to me then?

I will call the labor office and find out what is my right, I had enough, I left the place partly because of poor management, my working hour cut down, someday she hint me to leave early, so I withdraw myself and decided spending good quality time with my son and family. I thought I did fine last few weeks, I left with pride, peace no more stress, what between her and me, I kept to me, funny things is she bought me lunch, talked so nicely on my last day of work, for goodness sake, she's fake, she's ignorance, now she intrude my peaceful life now, this is a harassments! I take no more, I am angry! Don't leave me alone, I will bite back!

I always think leave the job with good manner, don't risk the hard work and good performance I've did during my employment years, this is part of my work history, this place proof my work experience, my ethic, so, she will be in my resume, That's why I need to be positive, do not push the limit, I have to swallow my anger and rights, so I can go a long way. But does this mean I slave myself? Does it mean I have to tolerate the emotional torture ? Does this mean her words against mine without my knowledge? Does this mean she have all the rights to destroy my future undertakings without me having face to face to defense myself? Employee Vs Employer? Tell me where is my rights stand in this situations? Can she hold her reference against me in future, in this case, what is my right?
Then why she handed me a nice reference letter, and told me all kind of good things, but she actually don't mean it?

I want to tell her to Leave me alone
, evaluate her own behavior, her actions, it's naive, immature, childish...for someone in the golden years. People said the older you gets the wiser, this don't seem to suite her!..I know she is insecure, she is rich, but her heart is empty, her loneness is not my fault, don't take it out on me!


Terrick said...

部落格確實是一個很好的發泄管道。Feel better now? 有時候打工就是這樣,遇到好的老板,你的長處就能發揮得很好,工作起來更有熱情,因為受到肯定。



zara's mama said...

Hmm.. cool down.
Is she worth all your frustration and anger?
Get affected by that.. you loose.
Deny her that.. you win.


mama bok said...

Hey.. May,
Sorry to hear about your ex-boss. Can you tell me if you are currently on unemployment..??
After we've established that.. i can then further advise you.
In the meantime, you cool down.. don't let "small" ppl like her upset you. Take care..!

domesticgoddess said...

同意zmm说的。为了这种小人激气,值得吗?既然你都离开那儿了,更无谓在意她所说的。就当这是耳边风吧!it's easier said then done I know. But really hope you will feel better after letting it out on this blog.

haze said...

Hello May. I saw your comment on my blog. I read your post. It sounds like your ex-boss was a real nightmare. Since you no longer work for her, I am curious why you bother about her anymore. Even if she is talking behind your back. She is obviously a small, ignorant, insecure person, and she is not worthy of your attention or energy.

All the best.


Danna said...

Hi May,

I saw the comment on my blog so I came over and read your post about your ex boss. You know what, let her talk about you. You are a better person than her. You do not work there anymore. Which I would like to say it sounds like a good thing. It is time to let it go and move on. Sounds like you have an awesome family and friend support in this great city of Calgary. There are so many jobs here. This ex boss is not worth your time and anger. Sometimes it is better to pick your battles.
Have a great day May, and I hope things get better.

huisia said...

somehow i feel like she is jealous you, sometimes people especially lady would act like what your ex-lady boss did, just because she jealous you have a good family and handsome son. i had a colleague who was always like to back stab me, but i knew that clearly, she hate our team leader kept talking to me but not her.

don't mind what she said since you have left her. about the resume, don't worry, 你是有实力的人,一张纸算不了什么.

hope you feel better now :)

Lynn said...

I saw your comment on my blog also and I am with everyone else just worry about yourself and dont let anyone bring you down... Your work is amazing! Beautiful....

火鳥 said...

sorry, I don't think I receice any email from you, could you please send again? my email:





MayY * 五月媽媽 said...

Terrick, Zara mama,DG, Huisia 跟後的post 我向你們道謝大家對我支特和留言的.

MayY * 五月媽媽 said...

mama bok, Haze, danna
Thanks for dropping by, I really appreciated it, your note really make me feel better now, (thanks for the email mamabok)
I am leaving it here now on, no point to stress about it, I got too bitchy and realize I killed so much good cell, I can't afford, too precious, flu season is here, I need them to battle for my health, why waste my attention on small people like that, I actually pity the ex-boss who will have 1 employee next week on, and I heard she is facing a lot of challenges which she ask for it, I don't need to go on to proof what she likes.
Peace.. my sister is right, what come around goes around

thanks for the compliment and your note, thanks.

my problem was so small to compare with people in need in the world, like the hungry children, the poor, senior, people battle their life in hospital, in war ect.. I am really ashame that I got out of focus..
but I am back, thanks to all.