03 March 2013




image download from Can stock.com

I was once told that when my father die, family will slowly disconnect, each and individual will be heading their own path and will not be as close when father is alive. Ever since mom die, father is the key of family connection. I never pay attention to it and very oftented by the comment.

Father gone since June of last year( 2012) I started to noticed the family relationship is slowly breaking up, sibling is not keeping in touch and don't want to keep in touch. I tried hard to keep active in their lives, but were labeled as busy-body, leave them alone, this has discourage me to stay positive.

I too going through life changed, after father passing, I still mad at myself for not being a good daughter, didn't give my best while he is alive, I lost the chances and I am regret and now heading to Menopause, another cycle of health, mind and body changes...
so, I am sad, sad that I remembered this were never happened to my mom family, my dad were adopted child, his family were not as close as mother family, it seem my mom family were Never apart when Grandmother die, mom were the key of her sibling connector, she was active with her sisters, when he oldest sister pass away, she still stay close in touch with her nieces and nephew..

Is it the evolution of time? and good value is fading as new generation arise?.. I cant bear,.. My buddy were comforting me and ask me to learn to let go, let them come to me when they realize, let them take the time, I need to live and move on , I should learn to live in peace, I still have my boy and husband to look after, I should move on and live a peaceful live.

My Oldest sister's also another sentimental person that like me..I know she feels the same way like I do, but my parent have 6 kids..........

I am a very emotional and sentimental person, I remembered very well when I was a child, I like to cry in bed or on the sofa when I am alone at home, is it because fear of dark.. no no, I am fear any of my family members get hurt or die, someone cant make it home.. I pray Pray Pray so hard and when everyone safe and home, I am so cheerful and happy, I know I was 8 then.

I wish mom and dad wish watch over us, its just a coping time of lost, Or some of us still coping with our dearest father loses.. but one of my sister is spending lots of time with a Monk, perhaps, she is interested the love of Buddha, and being a faithful follower, Buddhist will be no family connection. .

mom, dad, if you can heard me, are you able to keep us connected?
我知人大了,只是被環境所逼不得已不得已,再加大家为自己的家同將來生活安定而忙‧漸渐的忽略兄弟姊妹的親情的存在,但是我们别忘了親情的value呀、因为自己也有兒女、也不想下一代沒有了親情的價值觀!就算是單身,沒兒沒女,也沒理由說一旦父母去世,血缘绝的,因为每一个人需要有一个家的時候,而這个是我们父母为我们建立的家。不能滅的,所以要靠大家那颗家的心去維持下去直到next revolution, or next generation build their own.

 I hope mom and dad can help the family chain and value link strong again,  I like to hope and believe family love will never die..

this illustration downloaded from:http://www.zcool.com.cn/work/ZOTU2NzQ4.html